Going.The.Distance.

[Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, and kindles the great.] --Roger de Rabutin

I found this quote when Walker & I first started dating, and it has been on my mind this week, since I seem to be struggling more than usual with the distance between us. As hard as it has been in the past, now that Walker & I are engaged...its even more difficult to be away from eachother than ever!

 The biggest problem is not that we can't see eachother everyday [although I wish we could!], but rather that we literally live two separate lives. This was evident last weekend as we were put in a unique situation that combined both of us, and my friends, and his friends. We had no clue what to do with ourselves! Obviously we communicate constantly, about everything; and sometimes its almost like we're there with eachother. But we have become so used to having our own friends, our own jobs, our own churches, our own responsibilities...when our two different lives emerged, it felt almost...unnatural.

This really scared me. After all, in a mere 9 months our lives will become one. I have no idea what that looks like. I have no idea what it will be like to have the same social life, to operate on the same schedule. It's almost as if our relationship had its own little identity crisis. It has come to work so well as a long distance relationship...what happens when it turns into a no distance relationship?

I am preparing myself for, what I feel like, will be the biggest change--and that is complete exposure. Walker and I are honest with eachother. We don't hide things. But we have never, even with all the honesty we have shared, been involved in every aspect of eachothers lives. Every little part of our lives, of our being, is going to uncover itself. We have seen glimpses of this exposure, but I'm not really sure that is preparation enough.

So how DO I prepare for every little facet of our lives to be exposed? I pray that in the coming months, I can see Walker through God's eyes. After all, Genesis 1:27 says he was created in God's image, as were all of us. I pray I can see his heart, and his motives as God does. I pray that I would think of him first as a priceless creation of God's, a work of art, and then second as a husband.

By seeing Walker through the eyes of God, it won't matter what is exposed once the distance between us is removed. There will be nothing I could discover about Walker that would take away his worth or preciousness. Not to mention, taking on a holier perception of Walker will only make me love him more, it will only make me more honored, more humbled to be his companion in this life.

As the months crawl by...I know the distance will continue to prove a challenge. But I am willing to bet, the more I continue to view Walker through God-colored glasses, the closer he will seem. Even still, I do have to say...thank goodness for Skype!