Inspiration.vs.Fixation.

After discovering how supposedly behind I was on my wedding planning earlier this week...I have gone from thinking about wedding plans every other day or so, to letting it consume my thoughts 24/7. Wedding websites like oncewed & 100layercake that I used to visit once or twice a week...I now leave up and click refresh every 4 seconds.

I love those websites. I love looking for inspiration and finding ideas that I can turn into my own. But my obsession with inspiration is beginning to cause a problem. This may sound odd...but I find myself lusting after other peoples weddings. I think I'm so secure in the decisions I'm making. My dress. My venue. My colors. But then I see these pictures and I think "How could I not have thought of that?" or "Their venue is so much better than mine!" 

I'm cheating on my own wedding plans!

This startling discovery has taught me a lot about contentment. I thought back to a time before I was dating Walker, and how it took me being completely content in my singleness, to realize the true spiritual value of a relationship. And when I began that relationship, it took complete contentment in who I was through Christ, and who my partner was through Christ, to create a relationship that would honor Him.

You would think that since I'm the one making all these decisions...that it would be easy to be content with them. But I'm starting to be deceived by thinking that if I lived somewhere else, or had more money, or more creativity, then I would have a "better" wedding. Thankfully...God is faithful to remind me that "cute DIY ideas & vintage decorations do not a marriage make." Let me not lose sight of what is really being planned during these months. Walker & I are preparing for a marriage, a life together. Not simply a wedding.

I am so thankful that Christ has allowed me to catch myself in my "affair." May I now return to the healthy hobby of browsing for inspiration. Checking websites & flipping through bridal magazines is a guilty pleasure made especially for the bride-to-be, and I would hate to miss out on the fun! But I pray that I would return to a place of contentment as I continue to plan my Big Day. I pray that I would know the line between inspiration & fixation, and that I wouldn't dare cross it again...