Enough.

How I have looked forward to this night! Time to relax & let my heart breathe a little. My mind and my heart have been pretty cluttered places lately, and I am welcoming with open arms the chance to just sit in the quiet and sort a few things out.

Of all the thoughts flying through my head these days, there are a few I can't seem to shake.

I wonder if I will love Walker enough?

Which becomes...will he love me enough?

And, the way we feel right now--will it always be this way?

No. But then again, yes? I have come to realize that I simply can't love Walker enough. And he can't love me enough. And we probably won't always feel this way. This way...is the way of dating to "I do" in 2 years. This way is already rampant with me making mistakes. And him making mistakes. And us making mistakes. This way is filled with stumbles & falls.

However.

This way is also filled with apologies and forgiveness and humility. It pours out grace and mercy. We cannot love each other enough. There will always be a way we can love more. A way we can serve more. But God, who has given us the blessing of this relationship, and fashioned both of our hearts, He loves us exactly enough.

Throughout the Bible, God uses His relationship with the church as a model for marriage. And what a mighty, perfect love He shows us. What kind of compassion and selflessness and humility and strength does this love require? How can Walker & I ever even come close to the way our Savior loves us?

Thankfully, I am reminded that embracing this model does not mean that we will get it right. Embracing this model means we will do so by faith & in prayer. That our God will be quick to reach down and help us as we stumble through the days of our new life together.

Embracing this model means that we will rely on grace & humility & forgiveness. Again. And again. And again.

How can I reflect the love of Jesus to my husband? And how can we as a couple reflect His love to our community and our world? I don't really know yet. But I know that God knows. And only by seeking His will for our marriage and our lives, can we ever hope to love enough.

To be enough.